Lisa Cheat Sheet

Daily Inputs

• Warm greeting
• Curiosity about Lisa and her day
• Affectionate touch or words
• Hugs / physical closeness

Periodic

• Deep conversation
• Shared experiences
• Reassurance during stress

Emergency Reset

• Calm tone of voice
• Reassuring statement
• Physical closeness
• Stay nearby but allow space to decompress
• Phrase to use: We’re on the same team
• If unsure: Reassurance → Curiosity → Hug

• Verbal appreciation
• Curiosity about her experiences
• Reassurance during stress
• Affectionate language
• Physical touch

Small inputs prevent spirals. Be vocal and calm; avoid raising your voice.

• Tone of voice, facial expression, speech, and physical touch

Example Phrases

• Hey Babe, it’s okay.
• We’re fine.
• You’re not in trouble.
• This isn’t your fault.
• Alternative to "OK":
  • Okay, sounds good
  • Got it, thank you
  • Okay, that makes sense
  • Okay, I’m with you
  • Okay. I’m busy for a bit but we are good

• Visible excitement and smile
• Hug and one warm sentence
• Offer help unloading
• Ask curiosity questions:
  • About drive
  • Physical condition
  • Emotional state

• Focus on thought behind gesture, not the object
• Phrases to use:
  • That’s really sweet
  • You put thought into that
  • I love that you connected that to us
  • I see what you did there (with a smile)

Symbolic gestures usually mean: I was thinking about you when you weren’t there.

• How was your day?
• What did that feel like?
• Tell me more
• How is Michelle / Ben doing?
• What happened next?

1. Fix Things Gently

• Address issues calmly
• Reassure: "You’re not in trouble"
• Keep tone caring, not critical

2. Reinforce Care & Love

• Highlight her positive qualities:
• Good
• Talented
• Beautiful
• Helpful
• Loving
• Caring
• Awesome

3. Text Clearly & Emotionally

• Do not be too brief or “efficient” with words
• Convey tone through words and punctuation
• Example: "I’m thinking of you—hope your day is going well!"

Love Language Percentages

Lisa

• Words of Affirmation: 37%
• Quality Time: 20%
• Acts of Service: 20%
• Physical Touch: 13%
• Receiving Gifts: 10%

Casey (for reference)

• Physical Touch: 40%
• Words of Affirmation: 23%
• Acts of Service: 20%
• Quality Time: 17%
• Receiving Gifts: 0%

Tips for Supporting Lisa

Words of Affirmation (Primary)

• Give frequent verbal appreciation and encouragement.
• Recognize thoughtfulness and effort in her actions.
• Examples: “I love how you organized that,” “You put so much thought into this,” “I really appreciate you.”

Quality Time (Secondary)

• Spend focused, meaningful time together doing things she enjoys.
• Engage in fun, creative activities:
  • Making holiday crafts (e.g., wreaths)
  • Organizing or decorating spaces together
  • Playing games or creative challenges
• Prioritize undistracted, shared experiences—phone-free, attentive presence matters.

Acts of Service

• Offer help with projects or tasks she’s doing.
• Support her efforts without taking over—show you notice and care.
• Small gestures count: organizing something together, helping prep for an activity.

Physical Touch

• Compliment words and quality time with gentle, affectionate touch (hug, hand on shoulder, playful touch).
• Use touch to reinforce reassurance and connection, especially during stress or uncertainty.

Additional Tips

• Be specific in your praise: acknowledge her creativity and thoughtfulness.
• Keep communication calm, warm, and consistent to prevent spirals.
• Remember: her favorite ways to connect involve fun, collaborative, and creative activities—not just gifts or efficiency.
• Combine words, attention, and shared action—this aligns perfectly with her love languages.